Simon Says

It started today. Olympics-shmympics...Phelps who? Today was Day 1 of the Barneys Warehouse Sale! We're talking olympicized shopping where one can experience the Thrill of Victory, or the Agony of Defeat. Or is that Da Feet. No doubt dozens were line up this morning at 7 a.m. waiting for the doors to open on 17th Street between 7th and 8th Aves in NYC. On this evening at 7pm, the line was inside, and modest. In fact, there was no line heading into the men's section, unless you had to wait in line to check an oversized bag like myself, the BWS amateur.

Let me back up a moment and tell you why I was heading into the men's section.

I'm attending my friend's wedding on September 6th. I'm all set in terms of what I'm wearing, though I'm just finishing up with the accessories. My boyfriend however, was in need of an outfit. (I could not risk a gold corduroy suit episode the likes of Miranda's experience with Steve in Sex and the City!) I had a distinct vision of what he should wear, but I needed additional support. About two months ago, I concocted a plan: to enlist the help of none other than Barney's own Simon Doonan. I met Simon at a New York Observer party a while back. He was extremely nice, and I thought perhaps if I reached out to him via a mutual connection he might be willing to help. I planned on drafting an email that contained the specs of the day, followed by the simple, yet inevtiable question: what should he wear?

Call it fate, kismet, what have you, but fast forward to three days ago while I'm having lunch with clients at GIORGIONE in SoHo on Spring Street. We're sittting at a back table when in walks a woman dressed in a fabulous little white summer dress with pink embroidery. She looks vaguely familiar and is seated two tables away from us. (I know the dress, but for the life of me cannot remember the name of the designer!) Moments later the hostess walks back in our direction again, followed by two nattily dressed men: Simon Doonan and Jonathan Adler. I muffled a screech of joy as I elbowed my colleague in the side and announced the arrival of the pair. There was no way I was going to pass up the opportunity to chat with him, even if it meant following him into the men's room.

Like a well-rehearsed scene in a play, we sign our check, they sign their check. We get up to leave, they get up to leave. We start walking out and I embrace the moment and walk right up to Simon and say hello. It was as easy as 1-2-3. I said that I had been meaning to email him with my scenario and question. As I begin telling him the story, he invites Jonathan Adler and Liz Lange over to help. I barely say "I'm attending a wedding and my boyfriend needs a suit..." when he interjects three powerful little words: "Barneys Warehouse Sale." He tells me it starts tomorrow you must go! I describe the location of the wedding, time of day, etc, and his recommendation: dark blue suit in either tropical weight wool or cotton, with pale blue shirt, and NO TIE (which is exactly what I had in mind, but wasn't certain if it would be appropriate!) I was grateful. I thanked him and then let the trio exit.

NEXT DAY: We're in line on the evening of the first day of the sale. I anticipated pandemonium. Women and men ripping clothes out of each others hands and diving into bins of designer labels like wild animals attacking their prey. I was surprised to see instead, a modicum of order and organization. And even better: within the 10 minutes of stepping through the door, my boyfriend tracked a gorgeous Hugo Boss tropical weight wool suit in dark blue. It was a gold medal moment.

Thank you Barney's. Thank you Simon. I'll be forever grateful. Check back in a few weeks for photos from the wedding.

BEACH BAG

Note to self: the following are the only ingredients needed in one's suitcase when embarking upon a beach vacation for one week. I need to write this don't while the list of clothes I actually WORE while out in Montauk is still fresh in my memory.

- Two bikinis (1 bandeau, 1 basic string bikini)
- Two beach skirts
- Two color C&C basic tank tops (one sunshine yellow, one white)
- One pair Lucky brand comfortable cargo pants and beat up pair of 7's
- Two long-sleeved tops for cool nights and A/C (Michael Stars, Alternative Apparel)
- 4 shortsleeve tshirts (Aloha Maui, LNA deep V, Whitehorse Vintage Smiley Face T, old Loomstate Sunshine T)
- One sleeveless LNA tshirt in turquoise
- One Hurley sweatshirt
- One Free People knit sweater
- Two summer dresses: Roxy and Young, Broke & Fabulous
- Two pair of shorts: homemade Levi 501 denim cutoffs, and Danang silk/cotton cargos
- Terry lounging pants
- 3 white Fruit of the Loom wife beaters
- One silk scarf and bandana for hair
- Havaiana flip flops
- 2 pr dressier sandals

Just add a few other essentials, like sunscreen, sunglasses, hat or visor, underwear and toiletries and you're good to go. No need for 3 giant bags of basically everything from your closets and drawers. Remember to KEEP IT SIMPLE. Summer and the beach is about relaxing. About letting your guard down. About BEACHY wild hair, and just going with the flow.

Cut it out..

Cut offs - the new "it" short to be seen in? Please please please promise me that you'll think twice before spending money on pre-fab cutoffs especially ones that cost $175 (like the brand Siwy featured on the girls above)! Even I draw the line at that. Cut-off jean shorts as the moniker implies is a shortened pair of jeans. To get your own pair, here's all you need to do.

Step 1: dig through closet and pull out pair of jeans you haven't worn in ages. Or better yet, if you have a brother-in-law who does construction and wears Levi's to work in everyday, that are banged up, ripped, and broken-in, start with a pair of those.
Step 2: try jeans on and while standing in front of a mirror, use piece of chalk to draw approximate line as to where you want to cut them off.
Step 3: use sharp pair of scissors to cut off the legs.
Step 4: run through wash once to get desired fringing on the edges
Step 5: throw on Havaianas and old boyfriend t-shirt and go

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your shoes

My post on the gladiator sandal gave me the urge to watch GLADIATOR the movie, which I'm doing right now. Marcus Aurelius (Richard Harris) has just been murdered his own son, Commodus (Joaquin Phoenix)... enter Maximus (Russell Crowe) to pay his last respects. Watching lead me to wonder how and where the gladiator sandal trend got its (ahem) foothold. With a little bit of digging, I found out that we have avant-garde designer Balenciaga and this photo of actress Jennifer Connelly sporting a high-concept pair of knee high gladiators to thank - a look that only Jennifer Connelly and Balenciaga could pull off.

Sword and Sandal

I'm channeling Hercules, Samson, and Goliath right now, which could be why some of my favorite trends this season involve leather, studs, and rivets. There was the short leather bomber mentioned (gasp) weeks and weeks ago, and now here I am to make a case for the Gladiator Sandal. Now, at 5'2", I'm classified as short, and admittedly I'm not sportin' a pair of gams like Nicole Richie (not even the post-pregnancy Richie, whose two legs equal about one of mine). Typically the thought of wearing a shoe or sandal that wraps around the ankle sends a chill of fear up my spine. Why would I willingly wear something that would make my legs look shorter than they already are? My Eastern European lineage has provided me with a set of solid calves - they're not cankles, but then again they're not those petite dainty calves the size of my forearms that I see on some girls walking about the city. But I covet the gladiator! So luckily, while waiting for Spring to arrive these past several weeks, I visited every e-commerce site out there and discovered a number of gladiator styles that will work for many leg lengths, calf shapes, and ankle widths. Here are a few of my fav's, several of which you'll see me in in just a matter of weeks...
Et tu Brute?

Shoe-revelation

The secret passion that many women have harbored for years, I have escaped for most of my life.

Earlier in the new millennium, my obsession was jeans. There was a two-year period where I probably grossed about 20 pair. Hearing brand names like 7 For All Mankind, True Religion, Citizens for Humanity, and even Levi’s, did for me what Red Bull and Vodka did for others. I’m happy to say that I’ve moved on, and in the last year my denim-fetish has waned. I’m less about the label now, and more about the cut and fit. Since last fall I’ve added just one new pair to my collection (True Religion Jane in Dusty Road) I’m proud to say.

No, it wasn’t jeans that I was spending my hard-earned dollars on and living paycheck-to-paycheck in for this past year, it was boots. [Pause to reflect on the beauty of the boot] As I was saying, it was about a year ago that the boot entered my consciousness, specifically the FLAT boot in all its glory. It started with a supple pair of brown leather riding boots from JCrew and escalated into a collection that included the brown cuff boot, flat black riding boot, tan flat riding boot (for spring, of course), and short black engineer slouch boot from Frye. Boots are possibly the top reason I look forward to fall and winter outfits, and I’m always a little sad when the mercury starts to rise and my calves begin to – well – get a little too warm in the leather shaft of a boot. There’s only so much a pair of Spanx knee-highs can be expected to do.

Recent spring/summer purchases have driven me to become acutely aware of my [lack of] spring/summer shoes. It’s abominable, really. I have one pair of grey leather mary janes (closed toe), and pair of brown leather strappy wedge sandals that are least 3 years old (that’s 21 in NYC street years), and a variety of beaten-up flat sandals. I have always thought of summer as that season for which you buy “disposable clothing.” The heat, the sweat, the grime of the city takes a toll on clothes and shoes. When it’s 85 and humid, you get one wear out of a tshirt or dress and then it’s right back into the wash. Woolite and Ivory Snow help stave off fading and breaking down, but not for long. The same goes for shoes. I’m meticulous about keeping them clean and polished, but the city streets are hard, giving them a very short shelf-life. I have many friends who refuse to where an open sandal or flip flop in the city in the summer. And rightfully so – the germs that are bred and baked on the street on a hot summer day…ugh…it’s like the city becomes one giant petri dish of bacterial infection. I, however, laugh in the face of infection and regularly wear sandals that are so thin my friend always says they’re no better than wearing a pair of tissues wrapped on your feet. I’ll refrain from providing a lesson in hygiene, but know that regular pedicures help stave off any issues.

Enter The Wedge. In Webster’s a wedge is defined as a piece of hard material with two principal faces meeting in a sharply acute angle. I’m writing to Miriam asking if she would add to the definition with: brilliantly designed woman’s shoe that adds height, without sacrificing comfort, and style without breaking the bank. Not sure about the rest of you, but I’m onto something here for the summer months. Wedges can vary in height from 2 inches to 4, keeping lovely manicured feet above dirty, germy pavement. Leather, pleather, linen, canvas, open-toed, sling-backed, ankle-strapped, suede-lined slides, wood-soled, or flexible-synthetic-soled wedges…pick your poison. I’m agog at the number of varieties there are, really. Espadrilles and Kork-Ease are the classics, but look for brands like Frye, Seychelles, Charlotte Ronson, Matiko, Chie Mahara, and others churning out some modern classics, in every color combination imaginable. I suddenly need a different pair for each summer frock and outfit! At long last I understand woman’s obsession with shoes!

Though NYC is breaking records for temps today, there’s a good two months left of boot-wearing here in the northeast. And though I’ll savor every last moment of the season, I won’t be caught without when that first warm sunny spring day hits.

Recession Jeans

It was a gloomy day on Wall Street today. The bears beat the bulls...to a pulp. While the cry from the floor was "Sell, sell, sell!" not "Buy, buy, buy!" My cry was "Why, why, why?"

It's mid-winter. What tops, sweaters, pants, skirts, and dresses, felt like a breath of fresh air two months ago, feel like they have a choke-hold on me today. It's late January, and right about now is when I contract a bad case of "I-hate-everything-in-my-closet-itis." The only glimmer of hope and sliver of happiness, are those harbingers of warmer weather and a new season of clothes - the many catalogs that continue to appear in my mailbox, even though the holidays passed a month ago.

Post-holiday. Credit card bills. Bear market. On Larry King tonight, financial analyst Jerry Lewis dished the straight poop--BE CONSERVATIVE WITH YOUR MONEY, i.e. DON'T SPEND, PAY DOWN CREDIT CARD DEBT, STAY ON TOP OF YOUR BILLS.... blah and waah. Oy. But something in what she said rings true.

So, until there's a correction in the market and those bulls start charging again, it's time for me to get creative. Maybe I'll pull out some old jeans that haven't seen daylight in months or perhaps even a year, give them a few new rips and shreds, or convert into a new jean skirt. I'll pretend that my dry cleaner is a fancy NYC boutique where for just $13.50 I pick up a designer dress (that in actuality has been held hostage for the last 4 weeks since no dry cleaner in NYC ever is or ever will be open on Sundays...) I'll turn the heat on full blast, warm my apartment up to a balmy 95 degrees, lay out a beach towel in my bikini, and sip an iced cold Corona and lime while watching surfing movies...

Recession-shmession...it's a yin and a yang kind of world we live in. What goes up must come down and go back up again. You know that, and I know that. Toro toro bulls!! Those bears will realize it's time to hibernate soon...

Get your motor runnin'

Dust off the old leather bomber girls, or better yet, buy a new one, cropped, fitted, and cute (look up Mike&Chris, D&G, Madison Marcus, or L.A.M.B.) Add flirty feminine frock-with-tall boots with leggings, or over-the-knee socks. Or underscore with floral silk blouse-faded wide leg lightweight denim jeans-ballet flats combo. Play it up or down with chains (layered, delicate, multiple strands, with feathers intertwined), big chunky rings (no spikes!). Layer on the Jovan musk or Love's Baby Soft. Add Bruce and strut.