Simon Says

It started today. Olympics-shmympics...Phelps who? Today was Day 1 of the Barneys Warehouse Sale! We're talking olympicized shopping where one can experience the Thrill of Victory, or the Agony of Defeat. Or is that Da Feet. No doubt dozens were line up this morning at 7 a.m. waiting for the doors to open on 17th Street between 7th and 8th Aves in NYC. On this evening at 7pm, the line was inside, and modest. In fact, there was no line heading into the men's section, unless you had to wait in line to check an oversized bag like myself, the BWS amateur.

Let me back up a moment and tell you why I was heading into the men's section.

I'm attending my friend's wedding on September 6th. I'm all set in terms of what I'm wearing, though I'm just finishing up with the accessories. My boyfriend however, was in need of an outfit. (I could not risk a gold corduroy suit episode the likes of Miranda's experience with Steve in Sex and the City!) I had a distinct vision of what he should wear, but I needed additional support. About two months ago, I concocted a plan: to enlist the help of none other than Barney's own Simon Doonan. I met Simon at a New York Observer party a while back. He was extremely nice, and I thought perhaps if I reached out to him via a mutual connection he might be willing to help. I planned on drafting an email that contained the specs of the day, followed by the simple, yet inevtiable question: what should he wear?

Call it fate, kismet, what have you, but fast forward to three days ago while I'm having lunch with clients at GIORGIONE in SoHo on Spring Street. We're sittting at a back table when in walks a woman dressed in a fabulous little white summer dress with pink embroidery. She looks vaguely familiar and is seated two tables away from us. (I know the dress, but for the life of me cannot remember the name of the designer!) Moments later the hostess walks back in our direction again, followed by two nattily dressed men: Simon Doonan and Jonathan Adler. I muffled a screech of joy as I elbowed my colleague in the side and announced the arrival of the pair. There was no way I was going to pass up the opportunity to chat with him, even if it meant following him into the men's room.

Like a well-rehearsed scene in a play, we sign our check, they sign their check. We get up to leave, they get up to leave. We start walking out and I embrace the moment and walk right up to Simon and say hello. It was as easy as 1-2-3. I said that I had been meaning to email him with my scenario and question. As I begin telling him the story, he invites Jonathan Adler and Liz Lange over to help. I barely say "I'm attending a wedding and my boyfriend needs a suit..." when he interjects three powerful little words: "Barneys Warehouse Sale." He tells me it starts tomorrow you must go! I describe the location of the wedding, time of day, etc, and his recommendation: dark blue suit in either tropical weight wool or cotton, with pale blue shirt, and NO TIE (which is exactly what I had in mind, but wasn't certain if it would be appropriate!) I was grateful. I thanked him and then let the trio exit.

NEXT DAY: We're in line on the evening of the first day of the sale. I anticipated pandemonium. Women and men ripping clothes out of each others hands and diving into bins of designer labels like wild animals attacking their prey. I was surprised to see instead, a modicum of order and organization. And even better: within the 10 minutes of stepping through the door, my boyfriend tracked a gorgeous Hugo Boss tropical weight wool suit in dark blue. It was a gold medal moment.

Thank you Barney's. Thank you Simon. I'll be forever grateful. Check back in a few weeks for photos from the wedding.